How many times does someone say that they loved the person
they e-mailed for 7 months from an online dating site but
when they met he was totally different when they met in
person! This shows us how much we bring our fantasies into
romance play when we start to communicate with somebody. We create a
picture of what they are really like, what our future with
them will be and then we grow this dream continuously with
more fantasies.
Do you want to live in fantasy or reality? A real human
being has a history, has made mistakes, may have habits you
don't like , can get defensive at times etc. A fantasy
person however magically can sweep away all the tough spots
in our days.
The movie Enchanted is a great romantic story about fantasy versus
reality. The main character , Giselle, has an ideal image
of her prince and when she meets him falls in love
instantly. They decide to marry the next day but the evil
step-mother sends her to NYC. Once in New York, Giselle
meets a man who tells her that you don't marry someone
after a one day relationship but need to date and get to
know the other person. He pushed her to think about wanting
to marry someone so rashly after knowing him for only one
day. Aside from being from a different land, her world was
shaken up due to her fantasy of romance being challenged. By
being with an a person different than her original fantasy
she came to actually love him more than her original prince
who would sweep her off her feet. The man she grew to love
wasn't royalty, didn't break into song at various moments
and was actually a rational lawyer . But he was changed by
her innocence and belief in love. She also wasn't someone
he thought he'd ever end up with as a girlfriend.
Whatever your image of the ideal person is, take time to
review it to see if it might leave out what is important in
any romantic human interaction. In real life people have lettuce
between
their teeth sometimes after a meal or don't always
remember to go to an event that was important and previously
planned. Perfection actually wouldn't make us happy. If we
had the perfect partner we'd probably become very insecure
about ourselves and live in fear that things could end or
change.
