Humor enables people to relax and feel comfortable in any

situation including dating . Poking fun at oneself is also a

way to make someone feel at ease (if this isn't done in a

self-deprecating manner as a habit). Making constant jabs

about oneself indiciates low self-esteem generally whereas

some healthy laughs at oneself shows a dose of reality.

Though some professionals advise maintaining a

self-confident demeanor, people seem to feel more connected

with someone who is able to show their vulnerabilities and

has some degree of humbleness. Humility is a nice quality to

see and it shows that someone isn't stuck on themselves and

full of self-pride.

Biting and sarcastic humor can be negative on a date and

show a certain bitterness or anger inside. This is different

than a natural use of humor and chuckles. We tend to lower

our guards when humor is used because we don't have to be

performing or "on" all the time.

When someone makes a joke about themselves they don't seem

to be full of self-importance or carrying a big ego around.

Instead they seem like a real human being. This in turn

allows us to laugh at ourselves and reveal soething personal

to another that may show a flaw or weak spot as well.

Extremes of mocking another or oneself indicate unresolved

issues that need to be looked at. But interspersing jokes

and humorous remarks organically into a conversation

enlivens it and creates closeness.

On a date , it's best to stay away from a bashing fest

about one's ex pointing out all their flaws and

limitations. Usually one isn't distant enough from an

ex-spouse or partner to be able to do this without a hidden

agenda or unresolved hurt. This also applies to jokes about

ex-inlaws as often problems with inlaws were factors in a

relatinoship ending.